Does the Testing Never End?

Ni Shin copyright Mr. Walter D. Reimer. Used with Permission.

Songmark & Songmark characters copyright Mr. Simon L. Barber. Used with permission.

Spontoon world copyright Mr. Ken Fletcher, used with permission.

Tatiana watched from her dorm window as an amphibian aircraft flew towards Krupmark Island, the aircraft soon lost to her limited viewing angle as it sped away. It carried the sables three roommates, her dorm. They were going on an adventure, an errand, a foolish favor for the Chinese panda Ni Shin. A seriously foolish favor. One that most likely would see one, or all of them injured, enslaved or dead. She had refused to go herself, refused and when finally cornered by the panda, had given her reason.

“I NKVD” she had explained.

“And so?” Shin had countered. “You are a Russian Spy. I need you. What has this NKVD have to do with anything?”

“Anna NKVD” the Russian sable answered gently.

That had woken the Chinese panda, her eyes widening as understanding blossomed. “And NKVD are family.”

“Like Songmark. Like Ni. Until Mother Oharu, Millicent. Only family I had. We have Anna back. What left of her.” She had spit to her left before continuing. “Not much more than Henrietta. Worse. She remember all.”

Shin had nodded yes, understanding. There were things one could ignore, or at least set aside. But family was family and helping those who had hurt ones family was always a loss of face no matter the reason. This reason was one that she could well understand. Though she would prefer Tatiana to be with her, needed her, the knowledge of what this sable could and would do to her brother should they meet was impossible to ignore. Any idea that her brother could take this sable, in even a canted fight was laughable. He was good. He was very, very good. He was nothing to what she had seen this Russian do without thinking. “I understand” Shin answered as softly. “You hate me?”

Tatiana had simply smiled a friendly smile towards the beautiful panda. “You not do this. You have no knowledge before. You not help. No Ni Shin. I not hate you. I like you. We friends, you I. No other Ni ever be friend.”

“I see, and will you hunt my brother” Shin asked, needing the information. Though she had lived with this Russian nearly three years now, she was certain that the sable had hidden a great many of her skills. One simply did not become the sole apprentice of Russian’s one time greatest torturer-assassin and not know more than Tatiana had let on. Then there was her training with her adopted mother. Starting that fire with soaked frozen wood in below freezing weather was something that Shin had known was impossible. If Tatiana could do that, what else could she do? The panda had to know, if not for herself and her husband, then for her families safety.

Tatiana shook her head no, a habit she had picked up from Liberty. “No. Is not my place. I will not help Ni family. I will not hinder. Anna’s father wish revenge. One warn Shin. He control five-thousand soldier. When war come to Krupmark, you, Fang. You run. Run, run. You two I help. No other. They leave not even grass alive when leave. I not want see sexy friend Shin with belly open, hung by own intestines after solders have fun with her.”

An image of Krupmark’s ragtag disorganized defenses trying to stave off an invasion of five thousand battle hardened Russian soldiers sent shivers of fear down the panda’s spine, though outwardly she let nothing show. What had her brother done, in his mad hunger for revenge. Just because he had been outfoxed by a woman. Still she was Ni, thus she hid her fear easily. “Any word for my brother then?” she asked.

Tatiana reached into her backpack, pulling out a small brown book. “Give brother. Anna diary. In Russian. She in love. Was going defect to brother. Want be his, have many pups for him. Maybe he enjoy read to new wife. They have big laugh.” She had placed the book in Shins paw. “I go now. Things must do.”

That had been yesterday. Now the three were gone and she feared for all of them, but especially Shin. Shin had everything to lose, the other two had nothing to start with but their lives and there was a darkness out there. Though fire dreams were not something that the Russian sable was trained in, three were other ways from her native country for one with talent to see what came. Unlike Tatiana though, they had no one in their hearts. Just ideology. Ideology, as the sable had learned, was cold comfort at night.

Abruptly she turned around to face her instructor. “You stand there seven minute now. Why not attack” she asked the yellow furred hound.

“Because you knew I was there Tatiana” Miss Devinski explained. “That is all we ask, that you be aware of your surroundings. You never needed that training though, did you” the yellow furred hound asked.

“No. You know what I was when came. Why I came. Still accept. May ask why?”

“Because we suspected what you could become, and you have almost reached our expectations.” Miss Devinski sat on one of the beds, Shin’s Tatiana noted. “Tell me the truth. Anna wasn’t the real reason that you refused to go was she.”

“Pravda” Tatiana admitted. “But was good reason. Enough for Ni. They understand. To help one who hurt family? Not to be done.” She returned to the chair she had been sitting in, turning it to face her instructor. “Tong everywhere. I help Ni family, Millicent be turned Henrietta’s sister. I not survive that. Not now.”

Miss Devinski smiled. “It’s a bitch loving someone and being in your place. Isn’t it.”

“Helen Whitehall?” The sable asked softly.

“Touchie” the hound admitted. “Then we understand each other. Now tell me why you allowed yourself to be captured, enslaved and treated so badly. I know that you easily saw the trap.”

Laughter answered the hound, hard laughter. It took several moments for Tatiana to speak again. “I can not let Ni, others know what truly am. What madwoman do. That nothing. Millicent have worse. I have worse training camp. I Levelers special toy. Very special toy. Miss Devinski. I come Songmark because Leveler decide I need contact others not Soviet. Need make... Connections.”

She stood slowly, walking to the rooms single door. “Pravda. I make connections” she continued as she closed and locked the door. “More. I wake up. That not Levelers plan.” Turning she placed her back against the door, holding it closed should someone try to break it open. “No time I not able defeat all three roommates. But have cripple all to do so. I not want that, and I learn from them. Songmark better for me than anything before.”

Miss Devinski nodded her agreement, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair from her face. “And you locked the door why” she asked, obviously unworried.

“To show this” Tatiana answered. She gently whispered three words, in response a ball of flame the size of a baseball appeared in front of her. There was though no heat even though it hovered there at her eye level, then slowly began moving towards the window. As it reached the window the sable spoke again and it faded away. “Mother Oharu say I make excellent Priestess. I say no. But have reached certain point. I must be tested.” She looked at her instructor, who’s expression was one of mild worry. “I ask two day pass. I make up work. But must go Sacred Island. Mother Oharu say best I go when friends away. May have pass?”

“Third years need no passes” the hound reminded her student. “Certainly not at this time, it is a holiday after all. There will be no work to make up.”

“Pravda” Tatiana agreed. “But pass mean you know where I go. You accept I must go.”

Standing Miss Devinski brushed her pants free of any wrinkles. “You must go alone child and you may or may not return. Or you may return mad, never to remember Millicent again. You may return, finding yourself stripped of your budding powers or even your love for Millicent. Are you certain that you want to go?”

“Nyet” Tatiana admitted. “Scared. Scared like when let Millicent be taken. But understand. I know too much be safe if I not right. Must go. Must accept danger. Anyway Mother not teach more until I do.”

It was the hounds turn to laugh. “I strongly doubt that not learning more would bother you much. This is for Millicent, isn’t it.”

“Dah. Is Pravda. Now is all for Millicent. Always.”

“Then come with me to the office. I will be on South Island when you paddle your canoe back from Sacred Island.” She looked down at the much younger sable. “I give you my word. Should you return mad I will take your life with my own paws.

Tatiana nodded yes, moving to unlock and clear the door. “That best thing all Songmark girl hope for. That friend take her life, when all else lost.” Opening the door she stepped away, following her instructor down the wooden stairs and to Songmarks official office. The secret though was that every room in Songmark, and Song Sodas was Songmarks office. When and where need-be.

Traditionally those who traveled to Sacred Island did so from a tiny, unnamed bay on South Island. Not only was this the closest protected anchorage to Sacred Island, it was where a single carpenter spent her time making the canoes that were needed for that trip. As was tradition she was a failed priestess. One who had gone to Sacred Island for her testing and been found unacceptable for any of uncounted reasons. Usually those women had their minds taken from them, to end up paddling randomly in the ocean until sun and sea took their lives. In some rare cases though only their gift was taken. This was what had happened to this mink.

No one knew what guide was used in the weighing of a priestess’s worth or what caused them to be accepted or rejected. Perhaps not even the Great Mother was aware of this. But forty three years ago the mink had gone to Sacred Island, then returned two days later in tears. She had failed, but she had been given a task. That task was to take over for the then current rabbit who was making the canoes. Aged, nearly infirm, the rabbit had trained her well. As with all others the mink went only by the name of Canoe Builder. Not that she was ashamed of her real name, she simply didn’t want to bring attention to her family’s loss. It was the way it had always been. It was ritual you see, but any ritual can change. Even this one, and would some day in the future.

Canoe Builder met Tatiana as she approached the small boat dock. “You have need” she said in Spontoonie. It wasn’t a question, as only those going to Sacred Island came here. Or the few family members who supported her still.

“I have need Sister” Tatiana answered in the same language, stopping where she was to allow the aging mink to study her carefully.

“I am no one’s sister anymore” Canoe Builder corrected the strange sable standing easily before her. “Are you afraid?”

“I am frightened beyond thought” Tatiana admitted, “And you are my sister. All who would be, are, have been are my sister. Mother has told me this, and she is a terrible liar. My name is Tatiana, yours is?”

“Canoe Builder” the mink replied without thought. It was the statement that all were sisters that shook Canoe Builder. She paused, letting Tatiana’s words wash through her mind. “Your mother is?” she asked softly.

“Wei Oharu, a simple Priestess” the sable answered.

Canoe Builder laughed, laughed harder than she had since her own failure forty-tree years ago. Laughed so hard that she had to kneel in the sand until she regained control of her body. “Oharu...” she finally gasped. “Is no simple Priestess.” She managed to stand, feeling tears running down her grey furred face that were for the first in so long time not of sorrow. “I have met her, she burns brighter than any I have ever met.”

Tatiana had been surprised by the elder minks reaction, until she explained herself. With a chuckle of her own she waved in the direction of Main Island. “You have not met Kama then” she stated. “She burns as the sun.”

“It has been told to me that this is true” the mink agreed. “One day I hope to meet her. Now, you have need?”

“A simple canoe with one paddle, for Sacred Island is but a short paddle away” the sable answered, returning to ritual.

“Then come, choose. There are several waiting to be used.”

Tatiana followed the mink until they were standing before a rack holding seven paw made canoes. She walked around the rack, studying reach and every one before deciding upon the one that she thought was oldest. “This will do” the sable said, easily removing the single person canoe from its place. Setting her chosen craft on the sand, she reached down and removed a small pouch from her belt. From it she took five coins, five shells. It was the price she had been told was ritual. A large sum to waste on a whim, a small sum for a future such as she faced. It left her with exactly the same amount in her money pouch, enough for one good meal and a water taxi back to Eastern Island. That of course depended upon her surviving this test, and that survival was not certain. Not even the Great Mother herself could know if the woman she sent to Sacred Island would return as a Priestess, stripped of her gifts or simply vanish. Rowing aimlessly in the ocean until her body failed her.

Accepting the ritual payment Canoe Builder left to fetch an oar. As with the canoe, the oar she returned with had been made by her own paws. Over forty years of practice and skill had gone into canoe and oar, they were both a work of art. A work of art meant to be the triumphant vehicle of a new Priestess’s return, or the casket of a failed apprentice. She did not help the sable take her canoe to the water, she did not help her board her craft nor even say good-bye. These things were not ritual, but the chosen habit of one who did not want her taint of failure upon another’s attempt. Canoe Builder did though wonder why Tatiana had chosen her oldest canoe. A canoe rejected by over twelve appetences already, some who had never returned. She watched though in silence, until the sables canoe reached Sacred Islands waters. Turning away from the ocean she returned to her work, that of building yet another canoe.

Tatiana floated several yards from Sacred Islands shore, apparently studying the land before her. She wasn’t looking for a landing spot, as she had chosen where she would leave her canoe some time ago. No, she was building up the courage to step upon Sacred Islands shore, for the first time completely unprotected by her adoptive mother. She could turn around right now, just as many had before her, returning to South Island untested. That would insure her life, just as it would insure that no Priestess would train her one step further than she was now. Or she could land, not knowing if she was making Millicent a young widow, would have these new abilities forever ripped from her soul or return in triumph. It was a maddening choice, it was a test, and like most young women Tatiana really hated tests. Swallowing one last mouthful of fresh water from her canteen, the young sable set herself and began rowing the last few yards to shore.

Sacred Island at first appeared as all the other islands in the Spontoon Archipelago. There were the standard trees, bushes, flowers and such, as well as the expected stones and animal paths. What there wasn’t though, was any sign of native presence. Not a single cut leaf, foot print or even discarded trash. Sacred Island was pristine, at least until Tatiana had made her way some twenty yards from where she had carefully beached her canoe. At this point she discovered a nearly buried carved stone and, allowing her curiosity to win a short battle, carefully dug up the stone with her bare paws. What she found was a rather strange carving, one that tugged at her memory. It wasn’t until she had stood up again to leave that the sable remembered where she had seen the like. In Great Stone Glen, where her adoptive mother was carefully restoring the ruins to be found there.

“So” she whispered in her native tongue. “As mother told me, it is true, these islands are linked by more than just being part of the same volcano.” Returning to the stone she brushed the organic trash of unknown years off its carved face until she could see the majority of its carving. It was a dancer, a reptilian dancer who had what looked like a double ended firestick in its paws. She hadn’t seen anything like this at Great Stone Glen, but her adoptive mother, the Priestess Oharu, had barely begun putting the giant puzzle that remained of those ruins.

Stepping back from the stone Tatiana put her own body into the dancers pose. Songmark training had loosened up as well as strengthened her body, so adopting the pose was easy. “Now I move how” she asked herself, knowing that her body should move in such a direction that it would either remain in balance, or a controlled fall. It took her little time to discover the most obvious movement. It was an interesting diversion but just that, a diversion.

Having satisfied her curiosity Tatiana moved on. As she had no idea where she was going, or what kind of test that she might face the Songmark student had decided to allow her curiosity to run free. After all, it was highly doubtful that she would ever return to this island, and very possible that this was the last day of her sanity. All that she could do was explore and allow herself to be drawn wherever the spirits of this island wanted her to be.

It was late afternoon when she stumbled across the ancient temple. From what little she had learned from he adoptive mother this temple was nothing like the one Oharu herself had been tested in. For one it was smaller, for another it was no where near the islands center. She couldn’t know this, but she had been drawn to the same temple that the Welsh vixen Eheubyrd Reeves had found back in 1881. No larger than a small cabin, its single door gapped open. Only darkness could be seen beyond that doorway, yet Tatiana felt no fear. Something warned her that she must enter this place without the covering of clothing, so she carefully undressed, folded her clothing and placed a rock over them. She had been drawn to this place, thus it must be the place of her testing. Taking a moment to look up into the sky, to absorb forever what may be her last sane view of such beauty the Songmark girl stepped forward, even against the fear that built in her heart.

As she entered the single chamber within that small temple a stone door slid up from the floor, trapping her inside. Her heart on her tongue it was all that the sable could do not to scream in fear, not to attempt to break out, not to use her skills, her minimal powers to try and escape. Her heart though fluttered in fear of a kind she had never felt, for it was the fear of losing the one she loved forever.

Abruptly Tatiana felt a great weariness come upon her, just as it had that night after she had chased down and killed those French spies outside on Volodymyr-Volynskyi. Fight as she might, the young sable found it impossible to remain awake. ‘A gas’ was her last coherent thought before her body collapsed on the temples oddly warm stone floor. With a final ragged breath her body entered a deep sleep.

Tatiana’s testing had begun.

“Why are you here” a voice asked. It wasn’t a strong voice, nor was it a weak one. Nor was it male or female. It was, Tatiana decided, a voice that seemed disinterested. She stood up from the surface she had found herself laying on, looking around at the misty atmosphere about her.

“To be tested” she answered, discovering that she was speaking Russian and not Spontoonie, or the more guttural English. “This is the dream pane” she continued.

“A much higher plane than that child” the voice corrected. “Why are you being tested?”

There was, the sable discovered, no place to sit. She could sit on the ‘floor’ but that might be considered rude, so she stood. “Mother informed me that I have reached a point in my training where I must be tested. To determine if it is safe for others to continue teaching me, or that my gift should be taken away because I may be a danger to others.”

“Your mother is very observant” the voice commented. “What is her name?”

“Wei. Oharu Wei” Tatiana answered. “She is my adopted mother.”

“And an important Priestess as well” the voice added. “You have no pride in her position?”

“I am very proud of my adopted mother” Tatiana admitted. “But I find no reason to throw that pride at the world.”

“Very good. Another comes.”

It was as though a switch had been turned off Tatiana realized. Not only was the voice suddenly silent, the feeling that another was with her was gone as well. For some time she knew that she was completely alone in this place, wherever this place was. Then another presence made itself known as a mist makes itself known.

This one had a male voice, and though with somewhat stronger emotional force it did not accuse, badger or threaten as she has expected. Carefully she answered that voices questions as honestly as she could, while freely admitting when she did not know. Thus it went with voice after voice. Some were obviously male, some female, some neuter and there was a fair number of voices that sounded as though they could be either sex.

During these questions she was shown Spontoon as it had existed before the Great Mistake, the dance that had so peaked her curiosity as well as dozens of others. She was given information, asked how she would react in certain events even if she could kill Millicent, should the need arise. To this question the sable simply answered “Yes, and I will follow her instantly after.”

Her friendship with Red Dorm was investigated, as was her need to be dominated on occasion. Yet at no time was she asked about the skills that her adopted mother had trained her with, or what she intended on using them for. She was though questioned about her using them to start that fire in the far North.

“If I hadn’t, we would have died.”

“Then it was a balance of need, ability and survival?” the current voice asked. “Not simply to show off in front of your friends?”

“It was a balance” Tatiana agreed. “And I will do such again, should the need be there.” She was exhausted, so exhausted that had she been lying before she would have tripped upon those lies now. “I have no need to show off, that is the choice of a weak person.”

“So it is.” the voice agreed, and the questions continued. Continued for hours upon hours until the sable felt that she would fall asleep on her feet. ‘Will it never end?’ She asked herself at one point, yet the voices continued coming, the questions continued being asked. As time passed she realized that this was the worst exhaustion that she had ever felt, even worse than when she had tracked down those two French spies in Vitim, bringing back their tails to the leveler to prove she had killed them. That thought brought darker memories, so she pushed them back, or though she did. It wasn’t to be.

“You kill” a child’s voice said abruptly.

“Yes, and will again” she answered truthfully. “I make no apology, I kill. I do not like torture.”

“Yet you have tortured” the child’s voice accused.

Abruptly Tatiana realized that, had she even once lied that in her exhaustion she would have already slipped up. That, and she had had enough of these constant questions. “You can obviously see my thoughts. Just take what you want from me, I am tired beyond caring.”

Tittering laughter answered her. “And you would then leave the sexy kitty alone in this world? Having no mind to care anymore.”

Tatiana collapsed, landing on her knees onto something firm, yet soft. She managed to remain upright though. “You have shown me many mysteries” she said in answer. “You have investigated my life as far as I can remember, hinting that you know more of my that I myself. Yes” she sable continued. “I have killed, I have tortured. Look within me and see the why, and the why that I now understand the wrongness of such. I am Tatiana Bryzov Wei, adopted daughter of Oharu Wei, I am wife of Millicent Homes Wei. I have never taken a moments pleasure in the torture of another. It was important for the safety of my nation, or so I had been led to believe at the time. I do not believe this now. Take what you want, I am tired of this game.”

This, daughter, is not a game” another voice stated. Another of those sexless voices. “We do not delve into your mind because that is not part of this test, though in truth doing so is childs play. We must know what you are. Not a Russian sable, the last of the House of Romanov’s direct blood, devoted wife to your Millicent, devoted daughter to your adopted mother, Songmark student, student of a darkness you call only the Leveler. These things we knew long before you purchased your canoe, before you decide to sell yourself to pay an illegal debt. These are not the things we test for dear child.”

Fighting to keep her eyes open Tatiana stared into the mist. “Then what are you testing for” she asked.

So they told her.

Tatiana woke again in the temple, her body stiff as though it had not moved a muscle in days. Forcing herself to move slowly the sable looked around her. She was alive, she was sane, or was she? Rubbing the matted fur on her face she took in a deep breath, finding the air cool and moist. This would be the best way to discard a failed student she decided. Let them think that they had passed, then paddle out into the deepest ocean always seeing South Island just before them. As she stood the temples door slid back down into the earth, giving her a clear path to leave.

‘What was it they were testing for’ she asked herself, feeling the knowledge there, but slipping away even as she reached for it. Struggling, she finally realized that almost everything that she had learned while in that place was slipping away. Taken away from her so that she could never share it with others. ‘This must have driven mother to near madness’ she realized. ‘To know, and see it vanish from ones mind. How horrible a thing to do to her.’

That the knowledge was retained within her mind should she ever have need of it was held secret from the Russian sable. As always, it was thought best that each student stand upon their own feet. Yet unlike the Priestess’s who left their testing, apparently Tatiana had not been given a gift. Perhaps the reason was that she was not a Student in Training to become a Priestess. In any case, the sable hadn’t expected any gift. Only hoped that she would pass this test.

Muscles stiff Tatiana made her way out of the temple, upon gathering her clothing to dress she saw something glinting near the doorway in the afternoon sunlight. Something told her to reach down and take it, finding that it was an anklet of an old design. There was something inscribed within the anklet, but the sables eyes were still too weak to read it. Stuffing it into her pocket she headed for her canoe, still wondering if she would reach South Island, or her seagull ravaged body be found by some poor fisherman as many were.

Breaking out of the jungle Tatiana found her canoe waiting, still pulled well up on shoe, its bottom gleaming in the sunlight. First taking a half hour to stretch and exercise lightly, thus warming up her muscles the sable then moved her canoe to the water. Entering it she picked up her paddle, looking back at that strange yet no longer frightening island behind her. Now though came the real test, would she paddle forever towards South Island, never reaching it until her body failed? Would her lifeless body be a feast for seabirds? Or would she again see her bed in Songmarks third year dorm. This Tatiana decided, was for her the real test. For once she shoved off from South Island her fat was no longer in her own paws. Taking a deep breath, and with Millicent’s face in her mind, she dug deeply into the calm waters with her paddle.

“Are you mad?” a gentle voice asked after Tatiana’s canoe grounded on the beach.

Looking up the sable found her eyes held by those of her instructor, the yellow furred Labrador gazing upon her with concern.

“No, you are not mad. Welcome home sister.” Holding out a paw miss Devinski helped Tatiana from her canoe while Canoe Builder turned to drag it onto shore.

“I survive” the sable explained to her teacher. “Yet remember almost nothing.”

A smile lit up the hounds face, something rare for a student to see. “Few do remember anything dear Tatiana. You are back with us, that is what matters. That, and I will not have to write a sad letter to your lovely wife. Shall we go? You will be very hungry and dinner will be on me. This one time.”

“Thank You the exhausted sable accepted. “But rather sleep now.”

“Sleep? SLEEP!” the hound cried. “You have just done something that less than a pawfull of Songmark students have done. You are now one of the Honored Mothers, though you still claim that you are not a Priestess.” She laughed again. “It is time to celebrate, there is sleep enough in the grave.” Then she pulled her student close. “Two things dear Tatiana, spy for the NKVD. One, you body needs food. It has not eaten in two long days and two. You will not deny me this celebration. I have too few of them to miss this one. Now come.”

“Canoe. My canoe” Tatiana asked, turning her eyes to Canoe Builder.

“Will be burned, as all are. It is ritual” the mink explained.

“Ritual” the sable repeated in a tired voice. “To destroy such beauty. No please, place it back upon your rack, that another may use it.”

“But, it is to your honor” the mink countered.

“My Honor” Tatiana explained. “Not important here. If will not resell, I ask you use yourself.”

“Myself? Your canoe?” the mink looked in awe at the canoe before. She had built it, she had cared for it an now it had safely returned a woman who had passed Sacred Islands testing. To be given such a prize. “My name is Aiwaiwa she said softly. I thank you for your gift.”

“To hear name. Is worth giving. Goodby Aiwaiwa. Maybe we see again.”

Giving up on finding a bed and some sleep, Tatiana followed her instructor to a waiting water taxi several hundred yards down the beach. She was exhausted yes, but Miss Devinski was right, she needed food. Miss Devinski was always right. As she followed the hound Tatiana realized something else. She could see a soft glow around the hound that matched her fur. It wasn’t the sun, she was certain of that as they were in shadow at the moment.

‘She called me sister’ the sable remembered.

Later, when her dormmates returned from their adventure, they noticed something much different about their Russian classmate. She was calmer, quieter and much much harder to anger. That, and something about her made them realize that all joking aside, they honestly did not want to make her truly angry again.