Millicent’s Final Exam

by Mr. David R. Dorrycott

the usual suspects copyright Mr. Simon Barber.

After checking out her new weapon from the armory Millicent carefully inspected the automatic, insuring that it was loaded, and not with blanks this time. Then she wiped away a bit of dust that had collected overnight before slipping it back into its holster. Two weeks of the toughest physical training she had ever encountered had drilled this action into her. Every day now that she worked the feline carried with her material that others would happily kill to have. On duty her weapon must be ready, as Sergeant Proud had made crystal clear to her. Yesterday afternoon he had demanded a snap inspection of her weapon. After returning it without comment he had suggested that she report to the firing range weekly for practice. Suggested. She had laughed to herself. One thing Millicent had learned was that Sergeant Proud never simply suggested anything. Thus her last action of the day was to report to the range for further instruction. Then to arrange a weekly appointment for more of the same. It had been when she was leaving that the ranges trainer, a rat terrier, had surprised her.

“Proud inspected yah tahday?” the old terrier asked.

“Yes sir” she had admitted, wondering why the question.

“Whad he say?”

“That I might find a weekly practice session with you useful to me sir.”

Scratching his beard the terrier had seemed lost in thought. “Nothin bout yer gun?”

“My automatic” Millicent gently corrected gently. “Seemed of little real interest to him sir.”

“Ah sweet, ‘e werre interested. Had yah no kept ‘er clean ‘ed ave let yah know. Next week?”

“Please. I still am not certain that my ability is acceptable.”

“Darlin. Jus pull ahn fire in fron oh yerself. Sergeant Proud’s men’ll be tha ones tah do any real killin.”

She’d left then, stopping to clean her weapon before turning it in. Millicent secretly was aware that the idea of actually shooting anyone was a stomach twisting idea. Now though it was time for another day. A Friday. With luck she would be off tomorrow. With more good luck her Tatiana would be free from Songmark as well. It had been over a month since the two had last met, for Millicent it was a month much too long. Now though she had to push that aside, it was time to work.

After gathering her Most Secrets case from its place in one of the safes Millicent inspected its contents before signing for the device. Twice now she had discovered either something extra, or something missing. These were she suspected, tests that as long as she carried Most Secret material she would constantly be forced to pass. Still part of her mind was upon Tatiana and the one letter that sable had sent her in the last month. Tatiana had expressed pride that her student had advanced, then cautioned to ever be on her vigilance. For her mail would be read, she would be watched. ‘Do not ever stumble in your loyalty for your Crown and Country’ the sable had written. ‘For to do so will mean your death. This is something I do not desire another to grant you.’

Another to grant her. A promise. Millicent remembered those words. Tatiana’s promise of a future yet to be. That the letter had been read by someone else Millicent was certain. All her mail would now be read by censors, to insure she did not ramble on about things others should not know. An Agent of the Crown. If only she could tell her father this, but it was forbidden her. Carefully belting the cross strap of the case around waist Millicent stepped out to preform her daily duties. Most Secret or not, she was still basically nothing more than a courier carrying documents from place to place.

It was after lunch that she was called into a certain office. There the station security officer waited, but there was no oddly stained grate in this room. “My dear Millicent. I have a package that must be delivered to the American Consulate. Most important” he informed her. “As it is now part of your responsibilities to transfer these materials please secure your current case and return here. Most immediately.”

“Yes sir” Millicent answered. She hurried out, so many questions in her mind yet knowing now that she would be told what she needed to know. Nothing else. With a pounding heart she returned to that office, to find a case designed much as her normal one waiting for her. This one though she discovered as she snapped the latches about her body, required a key to remove.

“You will leave your weapon with the guard as you leave dear Millicent. Though I would prefer that you carry it, I am afraid that we have certain.... agreements. Agreements with the local government. Were you to wear it, you would in the least be arrested.“

“How am I to protect my package sir, should I be attacked” she asked.

“The correct question dear Millicent. With your life of course. You will deliver this to a Major Dalmont. Here is his photograph. He will sign for the contents. He has the other key. He may have material for you to return here. Have you any questions?”

Millicent took a minute to study the photograph before returning it. “None sir. May I have the package now?” She accepted a rather large and heavy package. One that barely would fit in the case now locked to her body. Inspecting its seals she conferred with the report that came with it. Locking her package away she signed the paper, now responsible for what was in it. Wither that was a collection of comic books or a plan of invasion didn’t matter. It was her throat on the blades edge now. Oddly she felt no elation. It was a duty. One that she would manage.

It was a surprise to Millicent how easily she made her way from the English Consulate to the American one. True, there was only a matter of a hundred meters or so between their gates, but anything could have happened as she walked. Arriving at the main entrance she was stopped by a young and very bored guard.

“Reason for visiting” the ferret asked.

Taking out her identification papers Millicent allowed the guard to read them. “I have official business with your country. I request entrance” she informed the guard.

“Ah no toots. Nah, yer not onna list. And with ah chest like yours, your probably just some huntress comin tah see someone. So who is it hum?”

“I have a clandestine meeting with your sister” she answered. “We are lovers.”

Blushing the guard fought his anger. “Listen toots. I gotta know why everyone wants tah go through them doors. Now you be jake with me or I’ll frog march that plump rump of your right back to the street. Kapeesh.” Reaching out he placed one paw boldly upon Millicent’s left breast.

Very carefully Millicent studied the guard, then simply kneed him in the groin. Kneeling down she gathered up her papers. “You sir” she said in a rather loud voice to the curled up ferret. “Have no manners.”

“He isn’t supposed to Mam” a must deeper voice answered. “Thomas, are you okay?”

“Fine” the ferret answered, though his words were high pitched and obviously forced. “Never wanted kids anyway sir. She’s awfully soft.”

Standing Millicent stepped away from the two. “He has lost his accent” she observed.

“It will return to him, as soon as he can stand again. Thomas, when you can move, please take the rest of today off. Tell Sergeant Hawkins it’s a combat injury will you?”

“Yessir.”

“You are” Millicent asked the rather large and impressive hound. She was almost certain, as he matched the photograph she had been given, but decided to be absolutly certain. Failing Tatiana would be embarrassing.

“Major Dalmont. United States Army at your service. You have a package for me?”

“Shouldn’t we go inside” Millicent asked, not quite pointedly looking around them.

“Yes. Yes we should. Thomas, I warned you about the English ones didn’t I?”

“Yessir” the ferret agreed, having managed a sitting position. He grinned, staring pointedly at Millicent’s chest. “I was sorta distracted sir.”

“Yes. Yes you would be. Miss Millicent? If you would follow me please.”

It was much cooler in the American Consulate Millicent noticed. As she signed in a chill breeze struck her. Looking around she spotted a strange metal duct work still being mounted on the wall. “That is a state secret?” she asked.

“Air Conditioning. Something new. We are testing it in the islands. It uses liquid Ammonium to cool brine which then cools a water pipe that feeds radiators. Then air is flowed over it, removing heat and moisture. That is then circulated around the building. Unfortunately only the public areas are cooled at present. My office still uses fans and cross ventilation. Still I have hopes. This way please.”

Millicent followed the larger hound through a seemingly maze of corridors and ways until they arrived at an office much like the one she’d left. There Major Dalmont presented his credentials and gave her the code word she had been instructed to expect. “Then you also have the key sir” she replied.

“I do. If you will allow?” Dalmont opened a drawer in his desk, removing a key before approaching Millicent. With care he unlocked her case, then stepped back. “Your package please?”

“Certainly Major” Millicent agreed. Removing the bulky package she held it in her paws. “A receipt please sir?”

“But of course. To Miss Millicent?”

“Miss Wei please. Millicent is my first name.”

“Ah.” Writing quickly the hound offered her a slip of paper, accepting the package in return. “Wei, that is a native name. I was under the impression that you were English.”

“I am sir” Millicent answered, her words answering neither question, yet both. “Will there be anything else?”

“Yes. I have a like package for your sender. A moment please.” Walking to a safe he opened it, removing a slightly larger package wrapped in much the same manner. Again Millicent found herself signing papers, after carefully reading them. One she laughed at, sliding it away. “I will not agree to be an actress for any Shirley Shrine movie sir.”

Major Dalmont recovered the offending page, barely glancing at it before slipping it into a folder. “You would be surprised Millicent, at how many have signed that paper or one like it. A week being bossed about by a spoiled brat tends to make them a bit more observant.” He waited until she had locked his package into her pouch before pressing a stud on a waiting intercom. “Mr. Redstones. If you would be so kind. Our English visitor is ready to leave.”

Millicent was struck by the very handsome, and very powerful cougar that entered. Mentally she forced herself not to purr. “Please escort her to the front door, and please insure she is not harassed by the guard this time” Major Dalmont ordered. “Good day Miss Wei.” As the door closed he tore off the covering paper, smiling as the packages contents became visible.

“Are you are the new English Courier” Two Redstones asked as he led Millicent through the maze that was his workplace.

“For today sir. We are headed for the main entrance?”

“Yes.” Stopping suddenly in an empty corridor the cougar studied his English companion. “You are quite attractive. Do you not feel uncomfortable. Alone in a strange place. With a male you do not know?”

“Actually” Millicent replied, stepping back away from the other. “Yes. I do. In fact I am” she admitted.

“You needn’t be Millicent. Or should I call you Miss Wei? You see I’m chief cook and bottle washer for Major Dalmont. His secretary actually. It isn’t often I have a chance to speak with an attractive non-native woman. Your previous courier was male you see. Talkative, but male. Look. This is awful abrupt, but would you mind having dinner with me tonight?”

Millicent smiled at the offer. “I’m sorry Mr. Redstones, but we have not yet been formally introduced. Nor do I know you well enough to consider accepting or rejecting such an offer.”

“Ah yes. The proper English way. My apologies young lady. I’m just a country boy who made good. Listen, there is a state function on next Thursday. May I at least provide you with an invitation to that?”

“I may not be able to attend sir” Millicent warned.

“Of course. I mean, it will simply be an invitation after all. Should you come I will arrange a formal introduction. Would that be satisfactory?”

“Quite. Now please. I must return to my own work now.”

Turning back down the hallways Two Redstones led Millicent towards the main entry. “I do hope that I have not insulted you” he continued as they walked. “Its just that all the American women here are already in a relationship and though the local ladies are attractive. It is just that...” He let the words fade as they walked.

“They are not European” Millicent finished. “I most fully understand Mr. Redstones I will not promise anything. Still we will see what occurs, in the passing of time.”

Sometime after Millicent departed Two Redstones sat quite comfortable in Major Dalmont’s office. “She is very beautiful” the Major was saying. “If you like that type of woman.”

“Millicent? Oh yes” the cougar agreed. “Quite a handful. So she is the one that Russian girl has under her thumb. I wonder what Tatiana Wei see’s in her. Other than her obvious assets.”

“Maybe its her assets that interest the Russian” Dalmont said with a gentile laugh. “Different people need different things. I’ll have the invitation delivered to her people this afternoon. Are you really going to court the girl?”

Looking up at the ceiling Two Redstones considered his options. “Too dangerous to try to get too involved” he decided. “She belongs to Tatiana, who belongs to the Priestess Oharu Wei. You might not believe in this nations Priestess’s but I’ve seen them do things. Things I do not want done to me. Besides, I stir up that nest and the local government gets involved. Major, I’ve been here quite a long time. I’m still alive. That’s because I know when to stop pushing. Honestly, yes I’d like to make friends with her. It would be nice to have a companion at dinner who wasn’t trying to get me to marry her.”

“If companionship is all you want” the Major probed.

“I’ve spent time in London sir. We will have something in common to talk about. Then there is this. Tatiana is Songmark. That doe they want is Songmark. Maybe I can arrange a way to snatch that doe through this housecat. It is a stretch, but a chance is a chance. Of course if I’m successful I’ve got to be out of here, with my prize, in a matter of hours. We both know who’s lovesick over that doe. And I am quite certain as to what she would do to me if I were successful, then foolish enough to stick around.”

Turning a page in the ‘most secret’ volume before him Dalmont grunted before speaking again. “Is it just me, or does this little nation have an awful lot of Sapphic women on it.”

“Its you sir. Your predecessor had a study done. Spontoon is simply very open about it. There no more here on average than in Chicago male or female. Around twenty percent on average. About the same average of tourists that arrive from America that are Sapphic. Its during tourist season that its most obvious. Spontoon can at time average nearly thirty percent then. When three out of ten women are kissing each other on the street, well its just that more noticeable. Its like that Songmark School. Their girls have a reputation for availability. In truth its less that five out of ten who are or become so over the three year course. That includes the ones who marry and settle down here. The other half return home to waiting family. Its just what we perceive because it is different than home, not what is really here.”

“Wonder the missionaries haven’t swarmed these islands, converting everyone to Christianity, Judaism or Islam. Making the women were covering clothing, shutting down places like the Double Lotus. Ought too.”

“They tried sir. They still do. Is there anything else?”

“No. Nothing at all. See you at dinner?”

“Not tonight Major, I’m taking another shot at tracking down that doe. Washington sent another where the Hades is her head message. Maybe next week.”

“Next week it is then.”

Millicent arrived back to her own Consulate without further problems. There she met the waiting greyhound, who took her back to her office. “Any problems” he asked.

Carefully Millicent reported upon everything that had occurred. “Sir, was I wrong to assault that soldier when he touched my breast?”

“Not at all Millicent. In truth I would have been disappointed in you had you not at least tried. Now, would you like to see what you carried?”

“My clearance sir is to carry Most Secret, not to view it sir” she answered.

“Though we are both aware that you have read material you are not cleared for. You would not be of interest to us if you hadn’t managed that trick already. Well in this one case I’ll make an exception.” Placing the paper wrapped bundle on his desk he simply ripped off its outer cover. Before him lay the latest Sears catalog.

“A catalog sir?”

“Yes Millicent. A Catalog. You carried Harrod’s latest to the Major. It was both a test for you and something we do to simply mess with our enemies minds. Now, since you have nothing more important to do the rest of today, shall we peruse the latest enemy intelligence? Who knows, you might find a new disguise costume to wear.”

Thus Millicent spent the next three hours with her superior, him showing her the advantages of fishing tackle, her embarrassing him with her interest in the latest fashions. It was an interesting order form that left Spontoon the next day by Diplomatic Pouch.