by Mr. David R. Dorrycott

Chapter Eight

Dealing with Death

Later that same day Sara guided her car slowly into the Almertain’s drive, mechanically setting its parking break before she turned off her vehicles engine. This days events still felt like a dream to her. Everything after Amanda had gone limp in her arms still seemed so unreal, as if it hadn’t really happened. It couldn’t have happened. Amanda couldn’t die. She just couldn’t. Not her Amanda.

‘But she did’ the logical side of her brain argued. ‘You went out into the ocean with your best friend, the one person you love, and you came back alone. What did she do? Get out and walk home?’ Sara wiped tears from her dark eyes, wiped at her matted fur with a tissue then took a deep breath before stepping out onto the brick drive. She had to be strong now. It was time to face Amanda’s family.

Mrs. Almertain met her at the door, of Mr. Almertain there was no sign. “He’s in her room.” Patricia informed Sara. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to bother him. At least. At least not until he’s better able to deal with it.”

“I understand” Sara agreed. She looked around her. It was the same living room, the same house. Yet it was empty. Three was no life here. There was nothing here for her anymore. Not really. “I did what you suggested Mrs. Almertain” she lied. “I told her. I even asked her to marry me.”

“What did Amanda say?”

Sara held up her hand, the glint of new gold flickered from her finger. “She said yes. But I don’t think her heart was in it. I think she only said it to make me feel better.”

Patricia took Sara’s hand into her own, pulling the ring closer to her tear stained face. “She wears one? Like this?”

“Yes” Sara admitted. “At least until... until... Oh Diana” Sara fell to her knees, her own tears escaping like a long held stream as she finally let her emotions free. She never felt Amanda’s mother kneel beside her, to enfold her in her own arms. For a long time she cried, releasing her own pain as Patricia rocked her like a little baby. Then slowly, as her pain ebbed, she regained some control of herself. “It isn’t fair. She should have lived” Sara whimpered. “I should have died.”

“Life never is fair sweet Sara” Patricia whispered. “You had as much of her life as she could give you. That’s a gift you shouldn’t throw away. I don’t think Amanda loved you that way, I never saw that light in her eyes, but she did care for you. So what if she only said yes to make you feel better. What should be important to you is she said yes. And now I have a new daughter.”

Patricia pulled away slowly until Sara was held at arms length. “Explaining you to Amanda’s grandparents is going to be a bit dicey. Her fathers parents I mean. They are pretty old fashioned. Oh not the way you think. They just believe girls should only marry boys. I think you’ll give my father a heart attack. Then he’s an acid filled old man. It couldn’t do him any harm to get a shock.”

Sara blinked, staring blankly at the older woman. “Its not real. We didn’t have a priest. I’m not really your daughter-in-law. Your religion won’t accept it anyway.”

“Oh pshaw. Sara did Adam and Eve have a preacher? No. They never even married. At least it doesn’t say so in any bible I ever read. Its what’s between two people that counts. Love and marriage is the joining of two hearts. Not some socially accepted bit of morality that probably was created just to keep some selfish control freak happy. You’re my daughter in law or not. Don’t you ever forget it.”

“What my wife says” Amanda’s father echoed from the hallway. “Did she hurt?”

Sara looked up, seeing the shattered expression on Amanda’s fathers face. “At the end? Yes sir. A lot, but only for a few seconds” she admitted. “I felt so... so helpless. I wanted to stand in front of death and beat him off. I couldn’t see him. Couldn’t fight him. I felt so useless.”

Mr. Almertain nodded in agreement. “Know how you feel young lady. I really know how you feel. I lost friends in the wars. Some in my arms. We are all helpless when death knocks at the door.” He stepped further into the room, kneeling beside his wife to take Sara’s hands into his own. “My daughter convinced me to take the job I have now Sara. One that I find myself a lot happier in. She was always looking out for the other person. God knows her heart may have been weak, but her soul never was. We lost a daughter this morning, and gained a daughter this afternoon. Somehow I think your Amanda’s last gift to us.” He smiled at Sara’s eyes. “Her choice of gifts was never wrong.” He made to stand, to pull Sara up with him.

Sara accepted the mans offer, shocked at the strength behind those gentle eyes as he easily lifted her from the floor. “Its Thomas. My name I mean.” He gave another half smile. “You never knew did you.”

“No” she admitted. “It never occurred to me. Your Amanda’s father, her ‘dad.’ Or Mr. Almertain. She never referred to you any other way. I never thought to ask.”

Thomas Almertain closed his eyes to hold back the pain he was feeling. “It wasn’t important to you at the time.” He opened his eyes again and Sara felt that she could see the pain behind them. “My wife clued me in to what was what between you. What she had decided. We talked it over a lot while we waited for your call. Love not returned hurts, especially when your afraid to let the other person know you love them. There’s nothing we can do about that other than offer our love now.” He released her hands, leaving her standing beside him. “Is there anything we can do for you Sara?”

Sara shook her head, her long jet black hair, again loose, fluttered about her shoulders with a life of its own. “I need to get home. Get some sleep. Then maybe I can work the pain out in my art. I’m a little behind in my commissions anyway. Mainly book cover art. Unless I want to move in with dad again I’d better get caught up.” She stepped forward, throwing her arms about Thomas’s thick waist. “Amanda never had anything bad to say about you, except maybe you sometimes yelled too much.” She stepped back just as suddenly as she had moved forward, dropped to one knee to retrieve her purse. “I’ll call” she promised as she backed out the door.

“Hon” Thomas whispered while he watched Sara hurry to her car. “You might want to get clean up some before Andrew gets home. Its going to be hard enough on him already.”

“Your right, and we better keep an eye out on that girl” Patricia answered. “She might just try something stupid.”

“She’s not that stupid hon, Amanda wouldn’t pick someone stupid. We both know that.” He took his wife’s hand, assisting her from the floor as easily as he’d helped Sara moments before. “Just, well, I had hoped for a son in law.”