by Mr. David R. Dorrycott

Chapter Nine

A Line

Weeks had passed since arriving in this new world, and Marcus was very bothered at the moment. Up to now events were not going per his standard teaching plan. This wasn’t really that unusual with a new student, yet in a way it was. He had stretched the rules as far as they had ever been stretched. Maybe even farther in this case, no one could tell him until he returned to his home world to ask, and returning simply wasn’t an option right now. Not with a beginning student on his claws. At this point Amanda simply hadn’t the knowledge of how to call him back. Not yet, and this world was completely off the maps. This world. So different, so advanced from any he’d ever heard of before. At the moment he sat behind a heavy yellow pine desk his magic had created for him, several archive books laying open in front of him. Had Amanda been awake she would have been stunned at the sight. For the little dragon who she already knew was actually a very, very large dragon, was currently in a form she would consider perfectly normal. Had she had accidently found him, he would have explained that in her world this form was the most useful to him. In fact at the moment he appeared as a rather elderly, grey furred male mouse. Amanda however would not see him thus as long as she was his student. Marcus firmly felt that it would be a breach of his teaching ethics to allow her to think of him in any other way than as a dragon.

Across from him sat a man who, though his fur was a dark shiny brown, radiated great age. William Pope Hanson was this nations current Neutral. This worlds acknowledged Balance. He had come for his first visit. It was important in this case that Hanson and Marcus meet. There was much to discuss and considering how Amanda had chosen her new path, serious discussion about her real reasons. He was the one who had brought the books now open in front of the disguised dragon.

“I have never been on a planet so scientifically advanced” Marcus admitted. He indicated one book with a wave of his right hand. “Not only will she already be aware that her planet is not the center of her universe, her science already has a very good idea where that center truly is. They already search for life on other planets, understanding that what they find may be the most dangerous threat to their existence, or their salvation. It will make my work both easier, and in some ways harder. She doesn’t have the experience of hard work that I’m used to my apprentices having.”

Hanson leaned back, puffing on a pipe he’d brought with him. Its smoke filled the rooms air with a scent of cherries. “I doubt she’ll have that much difficulty accepting that, like our planet and its magnetic poles the physical center of the universe and the magical one are offset somewhat. I remember how much it vexed my teacher when I couldn’t understand. That was oh, eleven hundred years ago. Magic on this world was still very young. I am after all, only the third Balance.” He pointed behind him with his pipe. “Perhaps she will be one as well. One day.”

Marcus shook his head in disbelief. “Your world must have been chaos itself before the first Balance came into being. I would have expected you to be the tenth, perhaps even twelfth. Our Balance is the ninth and she is ancient even by our standards.”

Hanson smiled, taking another puff from his pipe. “Believe it or not, oh great dragon, Magic wasn’t fully understood until very late. Very late indeed. Madness, Harmony, or as you call it Order and Chaos came into being almost at the same time. Within a generation of each other actually. I’m afraid we are very far behind you in understanding our magic. That’s why I wrote the scroll to call an other-reality Master. To give my replacement a different outlook. Speaking of which, is she deep enough into her sleep yet?”

Marcus’s eyes closed a moment before he answered. “Yes. It has been a very difficult day for her. She did die you remember, and knew long before that she would. That alone is a tremendous strain on even the strongest spirit. I very much doubt she would awake under less than catastrophic events. These two tests will put a strain upon her even now. Love, Religion. She must pass both.”

Hanson nodded in agreement. “I had been told there would be four test’s when I found a Master. It took nearly two hundred years before he finally clued me in on the other two. By then I’d given up wondering, had decided that they were going to arrive when they arrived. Strange to learn you had passed two tests that you never knew you were taking.”                                                                                                

“Find a Master, Give up a love greater than your own life, confront your God, or its immediate representative, and learn your path as fully as your chosen Master can take you” Marcus listed. “There is a fifth test Master Hanson, one we take every day. That is to be true to our chosen path always.” He stretched. “Odd feeling without wings, yet in this world this form is best. Though our little apprentice to be better never see me like this. It would be very embarrassing.”

“Amanda found a Master, that’s one over the side” Hanson said. “Giving up a love, this will be the girl Sara?”

“No. I am happy to report that she doesn’t love Sara. Not the way that must be. There is one, I saw him in her heart. She expected to see him upon her death. Looked forward to it. Her one weakness was his love. Giving him up will tear her apart, just as it did me. It’s the religious angle I worry about. What is her religion anyway?”

Hanson frowned. “The White God. Biggest trouble making group since that Indian God down south, him and his demands for blood. It’s split into three paths, though none will admit they are in any way related. More wars, death and terror from those three than any two others in history.”

“So far.”

Hanson’s frown darkened. “They do get more fanatic as we advance. Secretly I’m glad she will have to deal with it. This three from one path has been impossible to guide in any way. It’s like... well its difficult.”

“Remind me some day to tell you about the Ocean Goddess of my world. She is as bloody a one, and has more followers. Between Politics and Religion, I couldn’t tell you which was worse.”

“Politics. At least in religions you do have those who are truly enlightened.”

Marcus chuckled, then pointed towards his door. “We are burning darkness. She will wake if we don’t get on with it.”

Hanson sighed, closing his eyes as he spoke. “Best then that we start. If she truly is what you say it will be a relief. If not, its best she never waken. I so do hope that she passes. I like her. I like her probably more than I should.”

Marcus nodded in agreement. “Which I find I am beginning to do also. Death, not for her I hope. For her spirit, Death would be a very boring time. She wasn’t taught correctly, though her spirit companion did try. As I told her, Death most likely would drive her insane.” He stood, stepping from behind the desk to join his visitor. “It would be better if you ran the tests. I haven’t yet enough understanding of your species. I could easily damage her mind.”

Hanson only nodded, slipping his still lit pipe into a pocket as he followed Marcus out of his rooms. What would happen tonight would be the final deciding factor. If Amanda was what she appeared to be, all was well and good. If she wasn’t, she would never wake. It was better this way. Not easier, just better.

Amanda’s dreams turned from confused images to a landscape of blankness. “I am asleep” she told herself, her voice echoing strangely among the greyness about her. “One of those” she laughed. “A dream I can control. Okay, how about some grass.”

Green blades appeared about her, rising up as she watched with delight. She could feel them between her toes, tickling her feet. A sound of running water came from behind her. Turning she found a small stream, its waters cascading over round grey stones. “Pretty, now if only Frank were here...”

Earth humped up between her and the stream. Green blades of grass turned brown, then black as steam hissed from the mound. A hand pushed up, withered, worms falling from its surface. Amanda screamed in her dream and in reality. Backing away she stared horrified as her boyfriends corpse slowly rose from its grave. “No. Your dead” she yelled, denying what she saw. “This isn’t right... It isn’t what I wanted.” She turned to run, only to find a tall cliff before her. Where had this come from she asked herself. A footstep behind her reminded her of Frank. Turning she stared in horrified wonder as the figure stood, its rotted military uniform becoming new as she watched, its features returning to the soft white furred face she had so loved.

“You called me” Franks mild voice asked from newly formed lips. “I am here.”

“Your.. Your dead” Amanda gasped, her horror slowly ebbing as she gained control of her fear. “You can’t..but this is a dream. I should see you as I remembered you. Not... Not as you are today. Shouldn’t I?”

Frank neither approached nor moved away, he simply regarded her with his deep blue eyes. “You see me as I am, as my spirit is. Not the body that lies unneeded now. You used magic to call me Amanda. I came. What do you want?”

Amanda fell to her knees in stunned silence. Finally she opened her mouth, but no words came.

“Amanda. I loved you. I know now that you loved me too, and why the lie you told me.” Frank sat slowly on the ragged earth he’d risen from. “Being dead, I have most of the answers you need. If you want me back, it can be done.”

“How” Amanda asked, still in shock.

“Someone who loves you more than their own life. They would have to take my place. I would never have died. It’s the old life for a new life bit my love. Am I worth that price?”

“There’s no one like that Frank. There never will be, ever again” Amanda answered. “You would be worth my life yes. Ask. I’ll give it to you.”

“Can’t do that hon. Not allowed. Your already dead, remember? There is your Sara though” Frank corrected. “I do want to live again Amanda. Ask her. She’ll do it. I’ve already seen her heart. There is nothing she wouldn’t do for you.”

“Sara” Amanda repeated. “Look Frank. Mom already told me so I’ve known for years that Sara has a puppy thing for me, but I’ve done everything I could to kill that. Even if its true I can’t ask someone to die for me. I won’t.”

“Then I can’t come back my love. That’s the rules.”

Amanda struggled to her feet, moving closer to her love. “What if I did it Frank. What if I gave up my life for you. I’ll do it, you know I will.”

Frank lowered his head. “I couldn’t accept that from you Amanda, even if the rules allowed it. I loved you too much. Besides, like I already explained. You’ve already died. You’re a corpse just like me. Go look in the stream if you don’t believe me.”

“I don’t need to Frank. I know I died, but Marcus saved me.”

“For a price. And evil price Amanda. God turned his face away from you when you accepted that price. The Empress won’t let you cross the bridge to join me. Not unless you retract your oath. Outside your alive yes, but inside. Inside hon your as dead as I am. And when you finally give it all up your going to Queel. I’ll never see you again.” He held out a hand to her. “Give up the power Amanda. Give it up. Join me. We’ll sleep together in peace forever. I promise.”

“I.. I can’t Frank. I can’t” Amanda cried. “I gave my word. You know I’ve never broken my word. Never.”

Franks opened his arms, reaching out to Amanda. “What’s your honor compared to your soul? Come with me. Renounce this filth. Sleep with me in peace forever. It isn’t too late. Not yet.”

“No” Amanda decided, walking past her love until she came to a stop at the streams edge, though she didn’t look down. Not quite yet at least. “There’s something more here Frank. God killed me. Twice. Once by creating that virus, the second time by taking you. When you died I lost all will to continue. Sara tried, but she wasn’t you Frank.”

“So you gave up. Just because I died?”

Amanda nodded yes, her eyes now closed. “Frank. I really do love you. If I’d been a normal healthy girl I’d have married you. I wanted your kids. God said no. There’s a reason why, but I haven’t found it yet.”

 “You think there’s a reason for everything?” Frank asked softly. “Your right my dead Amanda. There’s always a reason. Its just that we mortals aren’t supposed to know all the answers. It’d make life awful boring.”

“So what’s the reason Frank” she asked, turning away from the stream to face him. “Why destroy both our lives. Me? I grew up knowing I was dead. But you, you had so much talent, so much love. It’s wrong.”

“Hey, don’t look at me for that kind of answer” Frank laughed. “I’m just a mortal like you, I’m not allowed to give away the big secrets. I can’t stay much longer anyway. I still think, I still believe your making the wrong decision here Amanda. If God turns his face away from you I’ll never see you again. I want to see you again.”

“You will Frank. Sometime. I promise you.”

Frank smiled. “You know something about Sara?” He blushed, the emotion surprising Amanda. “When I met her for the first time? I almost fell in love with her. If I hadn’t found you first I would have, and her like that.” He shook his head in sorrow. “Keep her around Amanda. She’s good people. I’m glad you wouldn’t ask her to die so I could live again. It wouldn’t be right for her.”

“She wouldn’t have anyway” Amanda said.

Frank locked eyes with Amanda. “Yes my love. She would have. Its not puppy love Amanda. Sara really loves you as much as I do. All you’d have to do is ask her. Just like you would have given your life for me, if I’d let you. So your going to be the all powerful witch now?”

Amanda laughed, and felt a weight lifting from her spirit. “No Frank, there you go changing the subject suddenly. Just like always. I’m not going to be all powerful. In fact Marcus warned me that at my best I’d be about as powerful as the average ‘witch.’” She looked around, seeing again a field of green grass. “I’m just a pivot point. It’s going to be my responsibility to try and keep Order and Chaos balanced. Not kick tail and take names.”

“Can’t be done, at least not often” Frank warned her. “If you really tried, you’d die in days from exhaustion. You’ll just manage to keep the see-saw from hitting the ground most of the time.”

“I can try, and how do you know all this anyway?”

“I’m dead remember? Frank reminded her. “That opens a whole new library of information. You know I love to read.”

“Will I succeed Frank? Am I the right person for this job or should I quit now and follow you.”

“I couldn’t tell you even if I knew. Amanda dearest, follow me. We’ll sleep together for eternity in peace. If you really try your life’s going to be a constant struggle. What happens I don’t know, I’m told the future isn’t written yet. We write it with our actions. You can try, but only you can determine if you’re the right one for this job.” Frank stepped back towards the hole he’d risen from. “Time I went. One last thing lover. Well two. First, anything you want to be I know you can be. I’ve always loved this about you Amanda. When you put your mind to something, it happens.” He stepped into the hole, beginning to vanish from Amanda’s sight. “Second, you’re the only girl I ever loved, even counting Sara. Live a long time Amanda. I can’t wait for you, it’s not allowed. I promise though. There’s no love... No, I say to much. Your wrong Amanda, but its your choice. I love you too much to try and force you. Even though your wrong. One last chance for love. Sarah, You can manage one that last chance. Don’t blow it girl. Don’t let her go.”

“No Frank” she whispered. “I gave my word and, I really want too. Sleep my love, sleep and remember me.” But she spoke to no one. Frank had returned to what he was. With him went the last hope in Amanda’s heart that he was really alive somewhere. Gently she opened her heart, releasing his memory. She would always love Frank, but now there was a place for someone else.

Frank was nothing but a fading memory.

Hanson looked up from the sleeping girls form. “Strange dream” he commented, automatically reaching for his pipe before he remembered. “Still she passed the test.”

“Yes she did, better than I would have expected” Marcus agreed from the beds other side. “Let her sleep now, let the dream purge her. She never really did greave after all. That may be a problem later. Still knowing it exists I can carefully train her to feel her real emotions.”

Hanson leaned back from the sleeping form of Amanda, pulling a cloth from his pocket to wipe his face. “That went easier than mine” he reported. “I tried to hold her, tried to be both. I almost didn’t pass.”

“Didn’t do much better myself” Marcus admitted. “Though I think for me it was easier. D’sE ka had already begun to turn to another. I think that made it easier for me. Knowing she was already losing interest even though I hadn’t.”

“And her’s was already dead. She gave up his memory. I don’t know if that wasn’t harder than giving up a living person. Memories are all we have, when push comes to shove. All we have and now she hasn’t that. At least I have Ruth’s memory, and you your lady. When she wakes, she’ll remember hardly anything of him other than she loved him, he died and she had to let him go. That’s going to leave a big hole in her heart.”

Marcus managed a wan smile. “It does that to all of us Master Hanson. It does that to all of us. Now for the really hard part. This one I really almost didn’t pass.”

“No one who really believes has it easy. Its where we tend to lose most of them. If she hadn’t died...”

“If she hadn’t died, we could let her go home. But she did, our hands are tied. We both know the law. Go on.”

Hanson took a deep breath, pushing his cloth back into the pocket it’d come for as he leaned closer to Amanda again. His left hand settling back down on the flat space between her breasts. “And so we stumble along. Two old fools, holding in our hands such a young life” Hanson whispered as his eyes closed.

Frank was nothing more than a memory now, the earth gently folding in over him as he vanished from her sight. Amanda stood for a long time, tears matting the fur of her face as she released her grief. Finally with a shake of her shoulders she turned back to the stream. Walking to its edge she looked down, forcing herself to see what it reflected.

Only her own face stared back at her. No horror, no darkness, no rotted flesh. Just her own simple face. She relaxed a moment, only to be shaken from her calm by a blast of ice cold air against her back. Spinning around she found herself... “I have to be dead to be here” she gasped in stunned surprise.

A tall, regal though plain faced woman looked up from a scroll, her midnight black eyes slicing through Amanda’s heart like some fire-born sword. “You are late” the woman said harshly. “Explain yourself.”

“Empress” Amanda gasped, falling to her knees. “I’m not dead. I can’t be here. I just can’t. Not yet.”

“I know all things young lady. You died seventeen days, nineteen hours, eleven minutes ago. He has become very upset that you have not arrived. Now step forward that I may judge you.” She lifted her hand and a scroll floated from its nitch, dropping lightly into her waiting grasp. “This is completely irregular you understand. It will reflect very badly upon you. There will be consequences of course. Serious ones.”

Amanda found her body moving forward even though she hadn’t physically moved. “You cannot judge me. Not yet I mean. I’m still alive. I know the law. ‘Upon death one is judged by His second, the Empress. That one may pass over the bridge of light, or freeze in the lands of Queel’” she quoted. “I’m not dead. I’m sleeping in my bed. I survived.”

“You died. That another kept you alive by forbidden means makes no difference. Your heart ceased beating. Seventeen minutes later you were supposed to be standing before me. There is no excuse, you are aware of that.”

“I am” Amanda admitted meekly. Her tail curled around her left leg, a physical acceptance of her lesser place. “But I am alive.”

“Do you honestly believe that makes any difference?”

“Yes Empress. I do.”

The Empress raised an eyebrow. Her own tail curled in apparent amusement. “You do realize that by arguing with me you imperil your immortal spirit? That I have the authority to ignore your history. To ignore your balance. To throw you into Queel’s icy grasp simply for your attitude.”

“I did not know that Empress” Amanda admitted. “It doesn’t change anything. I am alive. If I’m alive I can’t cross the bridge anyway.”

“Nor may you enter Queel of course.“ The Empress opened her scroll, reading carefully while Amanda remained kneeling. “I see” she said slowly. “You are not yet a practitioner of the forbidden arts. There is no instance that you have in any way been interested in them. Still, Suffer not a witch to live. Mortal or Immortal.” She lowered her scroll. “Your rebuttal? I can see one in your mind.”

Amanda shivered. This was the Empress. Other than His son, the only being who spoke with His authority. “Suffer...” the young girl managed. “Suffer...”

“Well yes, you know the words. Say them.”

Amanda swallowed, unconsciously twisting the tip of her tail. A tail which had slid between her legs in her fear, to reach up to her chest. “Suffer not a... A poisoner to live.”

“So many do get that wrong” the Empress agreed. “There are no forbidden arts. He gave us minds that we might learn, and decide for ourselves. Not to live in mortal fear of stepping over some non-existent line. “ She dropped the scroll she was holding, stepping around her table to walk to Amanda’s position. “Stand little one. You are late. Explain to me why. Perhaps I may understand. After all this is Judgement and you have been judged. However I am your appeal. You are here, alive or not. You must make your case.”

It took four attempts before Amanda was again on her feet. Shakily, still in fear yet standing. “I was given an offer. There was no... no threat. To serve. No pressure. I accepted. Freely.”

“You were interested in Science, not the Power” the Empress commented. “They are not usually companions. He has seen your choice. I have His decision. Why should I consider changing it?”

Debate, Amanda had never been good in Debate. Fair, not good. Sara had soared in debate. If only she... No. Amanda refused to think of Sara here. Of Sara dead as Frank was. Sara would never die. Not Sara. “Someone has to accept the position” she answered hesitantly. “Marcus informed me of this. If I’m acceptable. If I learn. I will replace the one who is leaving. Without a Neutral. With no... No pivot point, Order and Chaos will run wild in my nation. I can be that balance. Maybe not the best choice, but I accepted. I’ve never gone back on my word. Queel or not, I won’t do it now.”

“So. Your Honor is more important that His decisions?”

“Empress no. He may demand freely anything of me, short of harming another. Its not honor Empress, its.. It is that I gave my word. If I can’t keep my word I deserve Queel. I deserve banishment. I was taught that when one gives ones word, one does everything possible to keep that oath. Maybe its Honor. I think its also Right.”

The Empress walked around Amanda, apparently examining the shaking young woman carefully. “You have the gist of it” she admitted as she again came into Amanda’s sight. “Some of it, but your reaching in the wrong place. Stop looking just in your mind, look in your heart as well. Try again.”

Amanda tried to regain some control of herself, but she was standing before one of The Presence’s. Her body ignored her minds orders, remaining standing, but shaking like a leaf. “I’m not ready for this” she whimpered. “I don’t know the answer. All I can say Empress is, if I don’t do as I promised I’d be in Queel. Inside myself, no matter what He decides.”

“You understand more than you think little one. Have you anything else to say?”

“No Empress.” Amanda made to turn for the ice covered bridge, only to have the Empress’s hand fall on her shoulder, stopping her movement.

“Oh no little one, we can’t have a spirit like your’s contaminating Queel. No, He says you are right. In this one thing. Other choices you have made were wrong. Not telling your parents of your coming death is one thing. Trying to destroy a true love one holds for you is another. Hiding your life? That is a grey area. Even I don’t know the right decision there. To believe one is dead and hurt once, or to know they live, yet they have taken a path you see as the Great Darkness. That is difficult. In this case the lesser of two evils is the better path. You will not turn your back on Him?”

“I don’t know Empress” Amanda admitted. “So much I was taught seems wrong. Or I don’t know enough. I can’t say.”

“You won’t give your word then. Perhaps that is the better choice. He isn’t your only path. Just as your Frank wasn’t the only love granted you. Perhaps you may find another that will fit that heart of yours better. Still, I think I will keep my eyes on you for a while. One never knows does one.”

“No Empress. Empress... Frank?”

“Will be reborn tomorrow. A new life. He has had his time here, has made his peace and proven he is not yet ready for eternity.” She smiled at Amanda’s astonished look. “How many spirits do you think exist? They made a specific number, beyond that no more exist or will exist. Of course even They didn’t expect five billion living beings at one time. Very few remain long. Almost none have gained that insight that grants eternity. Your Frank isn’t even close. Neither are you I am afraid, though you are a step or two closer. Or perhaps further away. That depends on future actions.” She smiled. “Your Sara you so wish to protect. She is much closer than you are to enlightenment. Now, one last question.”

“Do you like what you do?” Amanda asked suddenly, her words almost garbled.

“Not often. This time yes. Now return to your body. It grows early. We may meet again. If we do, please have the right answers ready. It is important to me, if not to Him.”