How To Pull A Kistune's Leg

by Mr. David R. Dorrycott

All characters, creations & realities copyright their creators

It suddenly struck her, she'd been sitting at the cafe for almost half an hour when she suddenly realized what was wrong. Touching one of the rings on her right hand to the bracelet of her left arm she spoke softly. "'Lith, do me a favor will you?"

<What. This time> came the reply through her recently added bone conduction receiver. Added, I might add, the evening after her encounter with Private Baka. The area around it was still tender & she blinked back tears as the device triggered still sensitive nerves.

"Check our copy of BS-13's personnel roster, against what they have now and what's walking around."

<Stand-by.> Minutes passed slowly as she sat sipping her cup of hot chocolate. Word still hadn't gotten around about it's effects on her, and she'd already developed a slight looseness from her second cup. <Either WE. Have encountered a. Very. Selective virus. Or almost everyone. On this station. Has changed. Gender.>

"Thought so. Who's not affected and about when did this happen?"

"That would be between 1010 and 1240 hours our time. Yuki and the children were on the Diamond studying emergency engine restart procedures." She thought a minute. "Magic, had to be. Magic won't affect anyone, or thing on the Diamond. I was talking to Dodo for the first thirty minutes of that period. Technology or a spacial distortion would have affected me.... Where's Naomi?"

"Gotcha." She stood, dropping a rather hefty sum on the table. "'Lith, BS-13 hasn't got an A.I." she suddenly remembered. "Be ready to change me to normal when I'm alone with Naomi, then back when our 'conversation' is over."

<Understood. No A.I. Interesting. Who is this. Then.>

"Donno" the human replied as she waited for a turbolift. "Maybe your alter ego?"

<Cute.>

Fifteen minutes later she was leaning on Naomi's door buzzer. Voices on the other side ended suddenly, as the conversation was interrupted by her arrival. When the door opened a tall dark haired woman looked out. "Can I help... Oh hi Snowaters. Just a moment." The door shut again, then opened fully. "Please come in..." the woman started as Snowaters walked past her, grabbed Naomi's right ear, and pulled her towards the sleeping quarters. "We haffta talk in private, NOW" the human said as Naomi staggered behind her. "Oww HEY, that hurts.” Bryan & Brianna heard Naomi shout as the door suddenly shut. A dim blue force field popped up, sealing the portal. Briana looked down at the still sitting otter. "Sixteen gets you twenty she's upset." The otter looked up. "She's not the only one. Where'd that force field come from" he wondered.

Three hours later the field collapsed, followed by the doors opening. Both women, again wearing the bodies they had entered with, emerged. Both waiting Brian's studied their partner. Somehow... Somehow she seemed a bit different than earlier. Without a word she opened a cabinet, removing an old scroll and handed it to Snowaters. "Tell your Grandmother she can have it back, when you learn how to read the fine print" Snowy said as she tucked it into her dress. Naomi just nodded. The two suddenly hugged, Snowaters patting the larger womans back. "Lets start over" she said, "Mistakes were made and we both reacted instead of thinking. I was as wrong as you." She glanced at Brianna, a smile tugging at her eyes. "Say, could I 'hire' Brianna for a few hours? I'd like to make some medical tests, compare before and after... and things."

"Medical tests" Brianna asked. "No way Naomi."

"How about ten kilograms of platinum in payment" Snowaters asked. "I'll toss in another ten for rights to the materials you give me, nothing more."

"Twenty kilograms of platinum?" Bryan asked. He grabbed Brianna's arm, pushing her towards Snowaters. "Take the money and run" he said. "Just make sure you don't get pregnant."

"Your kidding, right?" Naomi asked. "I mean, twenty kees for a few hours and some tests? What's the rig?"

"No 'rig'" Snowaters replied, studying Brianna. "I'll get valuable information, some genetic samples and I'll perform a few experiments with those samples later today. Brianna has a bit of discomfort which I'll treat before letting her leave, a boring time, and gets paid for it. I'll even sign a contract here and now on it." She pulled a wallet from one of her pockest, selecting one of many documents it held, handing it to Naomi.

"Humm... Ten CC's of blood, some cells from her stomach, a couple of eggs, a full body SMRI and a brain scan. You retain all rights to do with as you please those samples, and you return whatever physical samples remain after your experiments. All on a single page in twelve point type." Handing it to Bryan she started thinking. When Bryan handed it back she looked at him. "All cut and dried, we can even be present during tests if we want. Why not?" Naomi stared at the document, then at Snowaters. "Something not kosher here, but I'm not certain what. Okay it's a deal, but we’re present at all times or no deal."

Snowaters just nodded, taking the contract and signing it. "Be on the Diamond in twenty minutes. I'll be as quick as I can."

Six hours later Yuki bid Snowaters good-bye, she was taking Eve and Dawn to a live childrens show. "Yuki bring Eve/Dawn home on time" the plantgirl promised. "Yuki like station, large."

"Okay then, enjoy yourselves" Snowy replied, handing a debt card to the nanny as they debarked. As soon as the hatch closed she headed for the medical lab. "Notify BS-13 we're going to be testing some systems, we might 'vanish' for a few seconds. They shouldn't be alarmed. Tell your new friend to have Anson at the airlock in ten minutes then jump to R-2Y/1S."

<Done. Jumping.> Star Diamond ceased to exist in BS-13's reality. Five seconds later it reappeared, reuniting with the stations docking systems.

Col. Anson arrived at Three Low's airlock on time. He'd been informed of course of the Diamonds jump and return, and was very interested in what was going on. Just in case, severial security teams had been stationed within rapid response time of Three Low's staging area. It sometimes paid to be a bit suspicious. As he arrived the airlock opened, two women stepping out. Snowaters held a leash connected to a collar on the others neck, a taller, very shapely feline morph in a belly dance costume. Somehow she seemed familiar, but he was certain he'd remember that dark amber fur and deep green eyes if he had ever met her before. "Com'n" Snowy said, "Gotta see Naomi, and you'll love this." Shaking his head he followed the two women, absently wondering as he watched the felines movements from behind if the she was busy for supper. Thin silver chains connected both wrists & ankles, and the jingle of jewelery coming from the feline peaked his interest. Ten more minutes passed as they travelled in silence, broken only by the sounds of tiny chimes visible and hidden under the leashed womans clothing, what there was of it. When they arrived at Naomi's door Snowaters pressed the call button and Brianna again answered. "May I see Naomi please?" she asked. Brianna nodded, standing aside.

Naomi stood from the couch as they entered, staring at the feline. "You didn't" she asked, her jaw dropping as she studied Snowaters companion. The Feline sighed in pleasure as she dropped to her knees in front of Naomi. "Mistress" she said in a honey soft voice, dropping her eyes and spreading her hands as far apart as the chain would allow.

"As specified in the contract, I'm returning Brianna's remaining physical samples" Snowaters answered, mirth ticking at the edges of her voice. "Like myself, she's immune to magic, for the same reasons. She's also quite subservient to one, and only one...." She stopped, watching conflicting emotions flicker across the Kitsunes face, "Rather accident prone Naomi." She paused, handing the leash to the shell-shocked woman, leaning over to whisper into Naomi's sensitive ear "Next time, First rule of Aqusition; Know what your signing before you sign anything."

Naomi stared at the leash, then at her new 'property.' "What... What do I do with her?" She gasped. "I don't keep slaves..." "She's not a slave" Snowy answered. "I'm normally pretty much against slavery myself. I just... edited... Brianna's mental makeup and added part of Yuki's. She's an excellent cook, fine navigator and quite a few other things, none of which include killing. She also knows everything Brianna knows, along with an extensive education in languages." Leaning against a bemused Anson's arm she blinked, "I found training her for the three of you... interesting. Oh yes, her names Bubbles. I thought it fit. You know... 'A toy or Bauble?'" Bryan and Brianna couldn't stand it any longer, they fell to the floor laughing, while a bemused Anson simply smiled to himself. 'Some thoughts were... Best kept to oneself' he decided, wondering quietly how long he'd have to wait before asking 'Bubbles' out on a date.