SNOWATERS meets M!!!

by: Mr. David R. Dorrycott

 All characters copyright their creators

Snowaters waited until the skunk left, then sat down on one of the toilets. 'Oh great, stuck on the Klipper in a stupid clowns outfit, pissed off the first person who tried to be nice, and Kalith won't get me out of here. Stupid beachball.' she thought. "What do you mean you can't get me out of here?" she ask, seemly to the air.

<You never bought those parts for the Class A transporter>

"Oh snergs.... well, what about the Class B?"

<Working, do you require anything?>

"Yes, some clothes. Whoever popped me over here put me in a clowns outfit."

<Sounds like Figure M's MO. What else will you require?>

"..mmmm Send a large capacity can of whipped cream. I'm going to need something to get back at M that doesn't cause any real damage, and a map to the bridge. I need to see a Captain about a lift home. By the way, where are you?"

<Presently locked onto the Klipper. I located some unused external docking points. At the moment the ship has no warp drive. I am working to fix that problem. Note. The ships computer is NOT an AI. It is a sentient lifeform. Transporting clothing now. Note your clip is a secondary transceiver should the sub-dermal fail.>

"Your all heart. Ok, I have it. I'll get back to you later."

She turned and began scrubbing the 'makeup' off, only to find it was not makeup, but paint. 'Great, here goes some fur' she thought. "Kalith, I need some paint remover that won't burn my fur, what have we got?"

<Soap, water and time come to mind>

"Don't be funny, I can't stand this makeup. I hate makeup to start with and this stuff is nothing more than glorified house paint."

<Standby, Cloroflorethelene located. Also sending lanolin.>

"Thanks. That should do it. Send some recyclable rags. I don't want to leave a mess here, I think they might get peeved if I did."

<Cycling.>

Picking out the clothes Kalith had sent she almost had a heart attack. "Celtic? Oh great, from Clown to Celt. Thanks a lot Kalith."

<Sorry, those were the only clean clothes I could find. Of course, if you would wash them sometime...>

"Can it, I know the whole line I just forget sometimes."

<Sometimes?????>

Several minutes later than expected she slipped out the lavatory door, turning away from the sound of the party.

"Where’s that map Kalith" she asked.

<Unable to comply, ships information system is not available. I suggest you try the turbolift command system.>

"Wonderful, just ducky. Well, from the sounds of the party they should all be rather busy."

<Warning. Time stasised lifeform onboard.>

"Time stasised Lifeform? Goddess I hate those people, they can't take a joke." Turning a corner she tripped over a fast moving form. Both ended up tangled for a moment then she saw a stick figure like form stand up and smile.

"Hi! Like the party? Where's your costume? I thought you would like it. What's that in you hand?" came rapid fire from the figure.

"Figure M?" she asked.

"Yep that's me what can I do for you?"

"Someone asked me to give you this" she replied. Carefully she aimed the can and pushed the button. There was a slight hiss, them a thunderous roar. Releasing the button she looked at a large mound of whipped cream moving in several directions. "That ought to hold him a few seconds" she muttered, then turned and ran into a turbolift.

"Bridge!" she yelled, looking through the closing doors at a sputtering M digging himself out. "And hurry!"

She felt the lift move upwards and fell back against the far wall. 'Sheesh... he's faster than I thought, maybe if I'm stuck here I can apologize to that girl. Who's knows, I haven't had a friend in over fifty years. Unless of course you count an animated silicon ball that never sleeps and cheats at double deck Pinochle.' She shook her head, things were just happening too fast. Seconds later the lift stopped and the doors whooshed open. She quickly stepped out...

"Captain I need.... Oh shit.." came out as she looked into the eyes of the ships Captain. 'Oh no, a Centaur, and a beard as well... how.... cute?' she thought. Looking into his eyes she realized he wasn't happy... no, not happy at all. Behind him a monitor showed the corridor filled with whipped cream, a trail moving towards the turbolift doors. Then she heard the lift doors open and M's voice behind her.

"A-ha! There you are...Yike!" said M.

Quickly she fired the cans contents behind her in the direction of the voice. There was the sound of a women's squeal, cut off sharply as the whipped cream slammed into her. It sounded an awful lot like that pretty skunks voice. 'This really isn't my day.' she thought, hearing the can sputter and hiss.

Dang slowly looked at the strange cat dressed in ancient Celtic clothes holding a empty can of whipped cream standing on his bridge. The mound of whipped cream covering Lynn & the turbolift doors, and M tangled up with the Communications Officers chair, trying meekly to look like he was extremely interested the the chairs construction.

There was total silence, broken only by the sounds of the cans thin hiss of compressed air. He opened his mouth to speak, stopped, tried again, stopped. Finally he looked over at M slowly standing up, brushing the last clumps of cream off his arm. "Hi Dang, what's up?" asked M. The can gave a last gasp and fizzled out, a thin line of cream dribbled out, landing beside the cat like a dying white worm.

It was too much, just too much. Dang started laughing.